Gotta figure out what I want and focus on it. What I REALLY want, what I want to do, how to get there.. It's not easy. And I don't think it's gonna get any easier any time soon. But somehow I have to sort if all out. I'm just not even sure how to start..
For whatever reason, drawing with old fashioned paper and pen feels better than the iPad. Not that I don't love drawing on my ipad, but for these meditations, somehow, it feels better pen to paper.. Go figure..
Using old fashioned pen and paper today. Feel like I have more line control. Although I'd like to use ipad, there is something to be said for that feel of marker on paper that is lacking electronically. Plus there's the visual cue thing, where I put my stylus down is not exactly where you yout the pen down because of the size of the stylus tip. Need a finer point like on my Wacom tablet, where its more like real drawing..
Last couple of days have been difficult for many reasons. It's been especially difficult to maintain this practice because of it. Every day for the past few it would have been very easy to say fuck it, i don't feel like this. What's the point anyway. Everything is so messed up. But I'm trying to keep a promise to myself, trying to at least have one thing that I can count on in my life right now. They may not be great, but at least I am following through on my word so something can have meaning..
Hand bothering me today. That's going to make for interesting work. Going a bit numb. And I can feel my impatience rising. Oh well gotta work through it. I have a drawing to finish and a web site to mock up today.